currently listening to: Dashboard Confessional
Thanksgiving was... okay. Nothing overly spectacular, but it never is. At least no one argued.
The horribly time consuming psych lab is done. Many pages of glory. I think Amanda and I did a great job. And now... no more Tuesday lab!
I have two Death Cab For Cutie cds (the last 2 ones they've had out). I listened to Photo Album for the first time last night, because I was in the mood for new music. About halfway into the first song, I had to sneaking suspicion I had heard it before. I listened to a few more tracks, then I realized. It's not new to me at all. One of my roommates freshman year, Cara, listened to Death Cab, and she always played that cd. Cara had really really good taste in music.
Over break, I began reading Emma. I don't like it as much as I liked Pride and Prejudice, but I've only read like 120 pages. It's still entertaining, anyhow.
There are flurries today. Yay for snow!
Monday, November 29, 2004
Sunday, November 21, 2004
late night entry
Well, not TOO late, considering how late I've been up every night recently. But I actually went out and had fun tonight.
Recap of the night...
First, there was a women's basketball game against UWMilwaukee during the day. We won. :-) The women's team is the greatest. And then dinner at Webbs with some friends... I had a crispy chicken cesaer salad (because I know Tory would want to know). Then a men's basketball game against Kent State. Again, we won. Then to my apartment for a few minutes to pick up my bottle of rum, then to Michelle's to watch some Alias. There was also pizza and rum and coke. Four of us ate two pizzas and finished off 2 liters of coke. I still have more than half the bottle of rum (I think). I didn't have too much... about a shot's worth. Got barely buzzed.
But it was fun. I hung out with some people I don't normally hang out with, and it was just a good time. Alias is more fun when you watch with friends. Plus, it was all girls, so we got to drool over Michael Vartan and Bradley Cooper without guys rolling their eyes.
Okay, on to the non-recaplet part of this entry.
Has there ever been a person who just brightens your day every time you see them? That just being near that person makes you happy and content?
... Without that person knowing that he/she makes you feel that way?
And you having no idea how to tell that person that you feel that way?
And so on.
If so, then welcome to my life. ;-)
I'm sure most of us know who I'm talking about. I really just noticed recently how long I've had this little crush on him. It's been about 8 or 9 months. Yup. I tend to like the same person for quite a while... I'm devoted/pathetic like that. But if he starts going out with someone else, I'll be kicking myself. And that's entirely possible, because a lot of other girls think he's ideal, too. It'd break my heart and it would be my fault. Again. It'd be like Dave- part 2. And as much fun as THAT was...
So how do I ask him out or tell him how I feel? Jumping him the next time I see him is definately not an option (I can barely even talk to him...). I honestly just don't know what to do. Part of me says "carpe diem" but another part of me absolutely does not want to get hurt. And I'm of the mentality that if he did like me, he would say something. But maybe he wouldn't, because he's not exactly Mr Big Ego (which I really like about him).
I used to be pretty good with this telling a guy how I feel thing. But after the Dave fiasco, I've shut down in the relationship department. This is the first guy I've really liked after Dave. And if I don't tell him how I feel, I know I won't be able to forgive myself for a long time. But I just don't know how.
It's just been a long time since one guy can just... be there, and brighten my mood/day.
So yes, I'm asking for help. It would be so much easier if he could just read my mind, but that would be kind of freaky.
Recap of the night...
First, there was a women's basketball game against UWMilwaukee during the day. We won. :-) The women's team is the greatest. And then dinner at Webbs with some friends... I had a crispy chicken cesaer salad (because I know Tory would want to know). Then a men's basketball game against Kent State. Again, we won. Then to my apartment for a few minutes to pick up my bottle of rum, then to Michelle's to watch some Alias. There was also pizza and rum and coke. Four of us ate two pizzas and finished off 2 liters of coke. I still have more than half the bottle of rum (I think). I didn't have too much... about a shot's worth. Got barely buzzed.
But it was fun. I hung out with some people I don't normally hang out with, and it was just a good time. Alias is more fun when you watch with friends. Plus, it was all girls, so we got to drool over Michael Vartan and Bradley Cooper without guys rolling their eyes.
Okay, on to the non-recaplet part of this entry.
Has there ever been a person who just brightens your day every time you see them? That just being near that person makes you happy and content?
... Without that person knowing that he/she makes you feel that way?
And you having no idea how to tell that person that you feel that way?
And so on.
If so, then welcome to my life. ;-)
I'm sure most of us know who I'm talking about. I really just noticed recently how long I've had this little crush on him. It's been about 8 or 9 months. Yup. I tend to like the same person for quite a while... I'm devoted/pathetic like that. But if he starts going out with someone else, I'll be kicking myself. And that's entirely possible, because a lot of other girls think he's ideal, too. It'd break my heart and it would be my fault. Again. It'd be like Dave- part 2. And as much fun as THAT was...
So how do I ask him out or tell him how I feel? Jumping him the next time I see him is definately not an option (I can barely even talk to him...). I honestly just don't know what to do. Part of me says "carpe diem" but another part of me absolutely does not want to get hurt. And I'm of the mentality that if he did like me, he would say something. But maybe he wouldn't, because he's not exactly Mr Big Ego (which I really like about him).
I used to be pretty good with this telling a guy how I feel thing. But after the Dave fiasco, I've shut down in the relationship department. This is the first guy I've really liked after Dave. And if I don't tell him how I feel, I know I won't be able to forgive myself for a long time. But I just don't know how.
It's just been a long time since one guy can just... be there, and brighten my mood/day.
So yes, I'm asking for help. It would be so much easier if he could just read my mind, but that would be kind of freaky.
Friday, November 19, 2004
world's longest survey
Sorry, I'm bored. Skip if you want. If I'm not too tired after this survey, I'll do a real entry.
(1) Your gender: female
(2) Straight/gay/bi?: straight
(3) Single?: yes
(4) Want to be?: i suppose i won't die if i'm single for another day or two.
(5) Your birth day: may 22, 1983
(6) Age you act: it depends.
(7) Age you wish you were: being 21 is good. Being 4 was okay too.
(8) Your height: 5'3"
(9) The color of your eyes: brown
(10) Happy with it?: sure
(11) The color of your hair: black-ish
(12) Happy with it?: sure
(13) Left/right/ambidextrous?: right
(14) Your living arrangement?: live in an apartment with a roommate
(27) Your family: uh... YOUR family. Anyways. I've got a mom, dad, little brother, big sis, and cute dog.
(29) What's your job: student
(30) Piercings?: one in each ear, belly button.
(31) Tattoos?: nope.
(32) Obsessions?: i have a few of them.
(35) Do you speak another language? french and japanese... i'm not fluent in either though.
(36) Have a favorite quote?: "Stand for something or you'll fall for anything."
(37) Do you have a webpage?: yes... but it's currently offline while I renovate it (it's been down for over 2 months now... too busy to reupload it and stuff)
DEEP THOUGHTS about life and you in it
(38) Do you live in the moment?: i try to... but i'm too timid.
(39) Do you consider yourself tolerant of others?: usually, yes.
(40) Do you have any secrets?: i suppose i do.
(41) Do you hate yourself?: sometimes.
(42) Do you like your handwriting?: sometimes.
(43) Do you have any bad habits?: yup. (don't you love how i'm elaborating on the answers?)
(44) What is the compliment you get most from people?: i don't really get compliments from people... at least, i don't notice.
(45) If a movie was made about your life, what would it be called?: a movie would never be made about my life.
(46) What's your biggest fear?: rejection. Maybe not the biggest fear, but it's the only one I can think of right now.
(47) Can you sing: yes... but not well.
(48) Do you ever pretend to be someone else just to look cool?: uh, no.
(49) Are you a loner?: sometimes, yes.
(51) If you were another person, would you be friends with you?: maybe.
(52) Are you a daredevil?: hahaha... no.
(53) Is there anything you fear or hate about yourself?: yes. But we won't go there right now.
(54) Are you passive or aggressive?: a balance of both.
(55) Have you got a ?: :blink:
(56) What is your greatest strength and weakness?: i don't know!
(57) If you could change one thing about yourself?: i'd be more comfortable in social situations.
(58) There are three wells, love, beauty and creativity, which one do you choose?: creativity.
(59) How do you vent?: i write in my journal (or this blog) or i talk to a friend.
(60) Do you think you are emotionally strong?: sometimes. I like to store up my emotions until they spill over and i have an emotional meltdown.
(61) Is there anything you regret doing/not doing in life?: i don't regret anything i've done... i regret a few things i haven't done. And if I don't watch out, i'll regret one more thing i haven't done.
(62) Do you think life has been good so far?: well, it hasn't been horrible.
(63) What is the most important lesson you've learned from life?: be who you are, not what others tell you to be.
(64) What do you like the most about your body?: eh
(65) And least?: my stomach.
(66) Do you think you are good looking?: no... i have a modesty issue.
(67) Are you confident?: sometimes... but not usually.
(68) What is the fictional character you're most like?: eh, i don't know. Maybe Jane Lane from Daria.
(69) Do people know how you feel?: sometimes... i'm good at hiding things.
(70) Are you perceived wrongly?: sometimes, yes.
DO YOU...
(71) Smoke?: no!
(72) Do drugs?: no.
(73) Read the newspaper?: rarely.
(74) Pray?: no.
(75) Go to church?: no.
(76) Talk to strangers who IM you?: sometimes.
(77) Sleep with stuffed animals?: yes. Bucko the horse and Snuffles the bear.
(78) Take walks in the rain?: sometimes.
(79) Talk to people even though you hate them?: naw. If I do talk to them, i won't be especially nice.
(80) Drive?: right now, no. :-(
(81) Like to drive fast?: teehee, sometimes.
HAVE YOU EVER...
(82) Liked your voice?: sometimes.
(83) Hurt yourself?: yes.
(84) Been out of the country?: yup... Japan.
(85) Eaten something that made other people sick?: i'm usually the one getting sick from food.
(86) Burped?: yup.
(87) Been unfaithful?: no.
(88) Been in love?: no.
(89) Done drugs?: no.
(90) Gone skinny dipping?: hahaha no. I don't think I could ever do that.
(92) Had a surgery?: erm... to get my wisdom teeth out.
(93) Ran away from home?: no.
(94) Played strip poker: nope. Never really ever played real poker either.
(95) Gotten beaten up?: naw.
(97) Been picked on?: uh, just a little...
(98) Been on stage?: oh yes.
(99) Been so drunk that you know you're supposed to go out on a date with someone, but you can't remember with who or when and that you faint when you look at yourself in the mirror in the morning, not to mention your breath?: uh... no.
(100) Slept outdoors?: yup.
(101) Thought about suicide?: yeah... did more than think about it a few times, too.
(102) Pulled an all-nighter?: oh yes.
(103) If yes, what is your record?: i can't go more than one night.
(105) Talked on the phone all night?: not ALL night... but into the wee hours.
(106) Slept together with the opposite sex without actually having sex?: um... that's what Todd and I always did...
(107) Slept all day?: when sick, yes.
(108) Killed someone?: shhhh... don't tell anyone...
(109) Made out with a stranger?: a *stranger* no. But someone I didn't know very well, yes.
(110) Had sex with a stranger?: that's dirty, dude.
(111) Thought you're going crazy?: i AM going crazy.
(112) Kissed the same sex?: nope.
(113) Done anything sexual with the same sex?: nope.
(114) Been betrayed?: yes.
(115) Had a dream that came true?: not really, no. Sadly.
(116) Broken the law?: speeding, jaywalking. Nothing major.
(117) Met a famous person?: yes. Some bands/musical artists.
(118) Have you ever killed an animal by accident?: noooo
(146) Stolen anything?: nope.
(147) Been on radio/TV.?: not that i'm aware of.
(148) Been in a mosh-pit?: no... i'd get squished.
(149) Had a nervous breakdown?: on a regular basis.
(150) Considered religious vocation?: yes, i am going to be a nun (but not really)
(151) Been criticized about your sexual performance?: no... but i've been criticized for my lack of it! haha.
(152) Bungee jumped?: nooo. Heights = bad.
(153) Had a dream that kept coming back?: not really. Sometimes I dream about the same person multiple times (usually it's no one i actually know in real life).
CLOTHES and other fashion
(154) Shoe brand?: sketchers!
(155) Brand of clothing?: Express, Aeropostale, Roxy.
(156) Cologne/perfume?: Clinique Happy.
(157) What are you normally wearing to school/work?: jeans and a shirt/tank top/sweater/sweatshirt.
(159) Wear hats?: in the winter, sometimes. And I wear a hat for pep band (and it is oh so sexy).
(161) Wear make-up?: sometimes.
(162) Favorite place to shop?: Express, Aeropostale... and then Target and Barnes and Noble.
(163) Favorite article of clothing?: my gigantic 2004 sweatshirt.
(164) Are you trendy?: i guess so.
(165) Would you rather wear a uniform to school?: no.
LOVE, and all that
(182) Did you get frightened or uncomfortable seeing that as a section title?: naw.
(183) Do you remember your first love?: what first love?
(184) Still love him/her?: nope.
(185) Do you consider love a mistake?: love should never be a mistake.
(186) What do you find romantic?: sweetness... other than that, it varies.
(187) Turn-on?: my answer's the same as the above one.
(188) Turn-off?: jerks, creeps, big egos, dirtiness.
(189) Do you base your judgment on looks alone: uh, no. Like i'm in a position to judge.
(200) If someone you had no interest in dating expressed interest in dating you, how would you feel?: flattered, and just a bit awkward.
(201) Do you prefer knowing someone before dating them or going "blind"?: i'd rather be friends first. Otherwise the awkwardness factor is extremely high.
(202) Have you ever wished it was more "socially acceptable" for a girl to ask a guy out?: psh, who says it isn't?
(203) Have you ever been romantically attracted to someone physically unattractive?: uh, in high school, sometimes yes.
(204) Do you think the opposite sex finds you good looking?: no... but maybe i'm wrong (am i?). I think I'm seriously too modest for my own good.
(205) What is best about the opposite sex?: hm... it depends.
(206) What is the worst thing about the opposite sex?: big egos.
(207) What's the last present someone gave you?: various things by my mom from her Japan trip :-)
(208) Are you in love?: no.
(209) Do you consider your significant other hot?: what significant other?
(210) What would you do if you were walking down the street and saw some hot guy/girl standing on the sidewalk?: jump him. Duh. Isn't that what everyone else would do?
WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON...
(211) That haunted you?: okay, that's freaky.
(212) You wanted to kill?: no one...
(213) That you laughed at?: various people in pep band tonight.
(214) That laughed at you?: various people in pep band.
(215) That turned you on?: oh wow... i don't know...?
(216) You went shopping with?: probably Katie... and it was grocery shopping.
(217) That broke your heart?: Dave... not like it was his fault.
(218) To disappoint you?: well...
(219) To ask you out?: wow, um... Todd. And that was, what, almost 3 years ago?
(220) To make you cry?: amanda, because she pushed me and knocked me into molly, and i laughed so hard i cried.
(221) To brighten up your day?: the people in pep band.
(222) That you thought about?: teehee.
(223) You saw a movie with?: at the theater? Um... I don't remember!
(224) You talked to on the phone?: my dad
(225) You talked to through IM?: Tory
(226) You saw?: the pep band.
(227) You lost?: what about Lost?
(229) You thought was completely insane?: Erin. :-) And she is.
(230) You wanted to be?: uh... no one...
(231) You told off?: haven't done that in quite a while.
(232) You trusted?: i trust quite a few people.
(233) You turned down?: um... Michael, I think.
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU
(234) Smiled?: a few minutes ago.
(235) Laughed?: at the basketball game tonight.
(236) Cried?: Tuesday, maybe.
(237) Bought something?: tonight, i bought dinner.
(238) Danced?: at the basketball game tonight!
(239) Were sarcastic?: me? Sarcastic? Never.
(240) hugged someone?: i don't know.
(241) Talked to an ex?: i don't know... whenever the last time Chris randomly IMed me was. ;-)
(242) Watched your fave movie?: it's been a while. Maybe I'll do that now.
(243) Had a nightmare?: a few nights ago... and then i realized that i was still awake.
(245) Talked on the phone?: yesterday.
(246) Listened to the radio?: last weekend, in Cathy and then Erin's cars.
(247) Watched TV?: last night.
(248) Went out?: i went to pep band tonight... that counts, right?
(249) Helped someone?: i helped unload an instrument.
(250) Were mean?: i'm always mean. But in a kind way.
(251) Sang?: at pep band tonight!
(252) Saw a movie in a theater?: A really really long time ago. I think I saw Bourne Supremacy with my sister.
(253) Said "I love you"?: i don't remember.
(254) Missed someone?: all the time.
(255) Fought with a family member?: not recently.
(256) Fought with a friend?: eh, not anything recently.
(257) Had a serious conversation?: earlier today.
(258) Got drunk?: the Saturday before Halloween.
(259) Had sex?: uh... never.
(1) Your gender: female
(2) Straight/gay/bi?: straight
(3) Single?: yes
(4) Want to be?: i suppose i won't die if i'm single for another day or two.
(5) Your birth day: may 22, 1983
(6) Age you act: it depends.
(7) Age you wish you were: being 21 is good. Being 4 was okay too.
(8) Your height: 5'3"
(9) The color of your eyes: brown
(10) Happy with it?: sure
(11) The color of your hair: black-ish
(12) Happy with it?: sure
(13) Left/right/ambidextrous?: right
(14) Your living arrangement?: live in an apartment with a roommate
(27) Your family: uh... YOUR family. Anyways. I've got a mom, dad, little brother, big sis, and cute dog.
(29) What's your job: student
(30) Piercings?: one in each ear, belly button.
(31) Tattoos?: nope.
(32) Obsessions?: i have a few of them.
(35) Do you speak another language? french and japanese... i'm not fluent in either though.
(36) Have a favorite quote?: "Stand for something or you'll fall for anything."
(37) Do you have a webpage?: yes... but it's currently offline while I renovate it (it's been down for over 2 months now... too busy to reupload it and stuff)
DEEP THOUGHTS about life and you in it
(38) Do you live in the moment?: i try to... but i'm too timid.
(39) Do you consider yourself tolerant of others?: usually, yes.
(40) Do you have any secrets?: i suppose i do.
(41) Do you hate yourself?: sometimes.
(42) Do you like your handwriting?: sometimes.
(43) Do you have any bad habits?: yup. (don't you love how i'm elaborating on the answers?)
(44) What is the compliment you get most from people?: i don't really get compliments from people... at least, i don't notice.
(45) If a movie was made about your life, what would it be called?: a movie would never be made about my life.
(46) What's your biggest fear?: rejection. Maybe not the biggest fear, but it's the only one I can think of right now.
(47) Can you sing: yes... but not well.
(48) Do you ever pretend to be someone else just to look cool?: uh, no.
(49) Are you a loner?: sometimes, yes.
(51) If you were another person, would you be friends with you?: maybe.
(52) Are you a daredevil?: hahaha... no.
(53) Is there anything you fear or hate about yourself?: yes. But we won't go there right now.
(54) Are you passive or aggressive?: a balance of both.
(55) Have you got a ?: :blink:
(56) What is your greatest strength and weakness?: i don't know!
(57) If you could change one thing about yourself?: i'd be more comfortable in social situations.
(58) There are three wells, love, beauty and creativity, which one do you choose?: creativity.
(59) How do you vent?: i write in my journal (or this blog) or i talk to a friend.
(60) Do you think you are emotionally strong?: sometimes. I like to store up my emotions until they spill over and i have an emotional meltdown.
(61) Is there anything you regret doing/not doing in life?: i don't regret anything i've done... i regret a few things i haven't done. And if I don't watch out, i'll regret one more thing i haven't done.
(62) Do you think life has been good so far?: well, it hasn't been horrible.
(63) What is the most important lesson you've learned from life?: be who you are, not what others tell you to be.
(64) What do you like the most about your body?: eh
(65) And least?: my stomach.
(66) Do you think you are good looking?: no... i have a modesty issue.
(67) Are you confident?: sometimes... but not usually.
(68) What is the fictional character you're most like?: eh, i don't know. Maybe Jane Lane from Daria.
(69) Do people know how you feel?: sometimes... i'm good at hiding things.
(70) Are you perceived wrongly?: sometimes, yes.
DO YOU...
(71) Smoke?: no!
(72) Do drugs?: no.
(73) Read the newspaper?: rarely.
(74) Pray?: no.
(75) Go to church?: no.
(76) Talk to strangers who IM you?: sometimes.
(77) Sleep with stuffed animals?: yes. Bucko the horse and Snuffles the bear.
(78) Take walks in the rain?: sometimes.
(79) Talk to people even though you hate them?: naw. If I do talk to them, i won't be especially nice.
(80) Drive?: right now, no. :-(
(81) Like to drive fast?: teehee, sometimes.
HAVE YOU EVER...
(82) Liked your voice?: sometimes.
(83) Hurt yourself?: yes.
(84) Been out of the country?: yup... Japan.
(85) Eaten something that made other people sick?: i'm usually the one getting sick from food.
(86) Burped?: yup.
(87) Been unfaithful?: no.
(88) Been in love?: no.
(89) Done drugs?: no.
(90) Gone skinny dipping?: hahaha no. I don't think I could ever do that.
(92) Had a surgery?: erm... to get my wisdom teeth out.
(93) Ran away from home?: no.
(94) Played strip poker: nope. Never really ever played real poker either.
(95) Gotten beaten up?: naw.
(97) Been picked on?: uh, just a little...
(98) Been on stage?: oh yes.
(99) Been so drunk that you know you're supposed to go out on a date with someone, but you can't remember with who or when and that you faint when you look at yourself in the mirror in the morning, not to mention your breath?: uh... no.
(100) Slept outdoors?: yup.
(101) Thought about suicide?: yeah... did more than think about it a few times, too.
(102) Pulled an all-nighter?: oh yes.
(103) If yes, what is your record?: i can't go more than one night.
(105) Talked on the phone all night?: not ALL night... but into the wee hours.
(106) Slept together with the opposite sex without actually having sex?: um... that's what Todd and I always did...
(107) Slept all day?: when sick, yes.
(108) Killed someone?: shhhh... don't tell anyone...
(109) Made out with a stranger?: a *stranger* no. But someone I didn't know very well, yes.
(110) Had sex with a stranger?: that's dirty, dude.
(111) Thought you're going crazy?: i AM going crazy.
(112) Kissed the same sex?: nope.
(113) Done anything sexual with the same sex?: nope.
(114) Been betrayed?: yes.
(115) Had a dream that came true?: not really, no. Sadly.
(116) Broken the law?: speeding, jaywalking. Nothing major.
(117) Met a famous person?: yes. Some bands/musical artists.
(118) Have you ever killed an animal by accident?: noooo
(146) Stolen anything?: nope.
(147) Been on radio/TV.?: not that i'm aware of.
(148) Been in a mosh-pit?: no... i'd get squished.
(149) Had a nervous breakdown?: on a regular basis.
(150) Considered religious vocation?: yes, i am going to be a nun (but not really)
(151) Been criticized about your sexual performance?: no... but i've been criticized for my lack of it! haha.
(152) Bungee jumped?: nooo. Heights = bad.
(153) Had a dream that kept coming back?: not really. Sometimes I dream about the same person multiple times (usually it's no one i actually know in real life).
CLOTHES and other fashion
(154) Shoe brand?: sketchers!
(155) Brand of clothing?: Express, Aeropostale, Roxy.
(156) Cologne/perfume?: Clinique Happy.
(157) What are you normally wearing to school/work?: jeans and a shirt/tank top/sweater/sweatshirt.
(159) Wear hats?: in the winter, sometimes. And I wear a hat for pep band (and it is oh so sexy).
(161) Wear make-up?: sometimes.
(162) Favorite place to shop?: Express, Aeropostale... and then Target and Barnes and Noble.
(163) Favorite article of clothing?: my gigantic 2004 sweatshirt.
(164) Are you trendy?: i guess so.
(165) Would you rather wear a uniform to school?: no.
LOVE, and all that
(182) Did you get frightened or uncomfortable seeing that as a section title?: naw.
(183) Do you remember your first love?: what first love?
(184) Still love him/her?: nope.
(185) Do you consider love a mistake?: love should never be a mistake.
(186) What do you find romantic?: sweetness... other than that, it varies.
(187) Turn-on?: my answer's the same as the above one.
(188) Turn-off?: jerks, creeps, big egos, dirtiness.
(189) Do you base your judgment on looks alone: uh, no. Like i'm in a position to judge.
(200) If someone you had no interest in dating expressed interest in dating you, how would you feel?: flattered, and just a bit awkward.
(201) Do you prefer knowing someone before dating them or going "blind"?: i'd rather be friends first. Otherwise the awkwardness factor is extremely high.
(202) Have you ever wished it was more "socially acceptable" for a girl to ask a guy out?: psh, who says it isn't?
(203) Have you ever been romantically attracted to someone physically unattractive?: uh, in high school, sometimes yes.
(204) Do you think the opposite sex finds you good looking?: no... but maybe i'm wrong (am i?). I think I'm seriously too modest for my own good.
(205) What is best about the opposite sex?: hm... it depends.
(206) What is the worst thing about the opposite sex?: big egos.
(207) What's the last present someone gave you?: various things by my mom from her Japan trip :-)
(208) Are you in love?: no.
(209) Do you consider your significant other hot?: what significant other?
(210) What would you do if you were walking down the street and saw some hot guy/girl standing on the sidewalk?: jump him. Duh. Isn't that what everyone else would do?
WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON...
(211) That haunted you?: okay, that's freaky.
(212) You wanted to kill?: no one...
(213) That you laughed at?: various people in pep band tonight.
(214) That laughed at you?: various people in pep band.
(215) That turned you on?: oh wow... i don't know...?
(216) You went shopping with?: probably Katie... and it was grocery shopping.
(217) That broke your heart?: Dave... not like it was his fault.
(218) To disappoint you?: well...
(219) To ask you out?: wow, um... Todd. And that was, what, almost 3 years ago?
(220) To make you cry?: amanda, because she pushed me and knocked me into molly, and i laughed so hard i cried.
(221) To brighten up your day?: the people in pep band.
(222) That you thought about?: teehee.
(223) You saw a movie with?: at the theater? Um... I don't remember!
(224) You talked to on the phone?: my dad
(225) You talked to through IM?: Tory
(226) You saw?: the pep band.
(227) You lost?: what about Lost?
(229) You thought was completely insane?: Erin. :-) And she is.
(230) You wanted to be?: uh... no one...
(231) You told off?: haven't done that in quite a while.
(232) You trusted?: i trust quite a few people.
(233) You turned down?: um... Michael, I think.
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU
(234) Smiled?: a few minutes ago.
(235) Laughed?: at the basketball game tonight.
(236) Cried?: Tuesday, maybe.
(237) Bought something?: tonight, i bought dinner.
(238) Danced?: at the basketball game tonight!
(239) Were sarcastic?: me? Sarcastic? Never.
(240) hugged someone?: i don't know.
(241) Talked to an ex?: i don't know... whenever the last time Chris randomly IMed me was. ;-)
(242) Watched your fave movie?: it's been a while. Maybe I'll do that now.
(243) Had a nightmare?: a few nights ago... and then i realized that i was still awake.
(245) Talked on the phone?: yesterday.
(246) Listened to the radio?: last weekend, in Cathy and then Erin's cars.
(247) Watched TV?: last night.
(248) Went out?: i went to pep band tonight... that counts, right?
(249) Helped someone?: i helped unload an instrument.
(250) Were mean?: i'm always mean. But in a kind way.
(251) Sang?: at pep band tonight!
(252) Saw a movie in a theater?: A really really long time ago. I think I saw Bourne Supremacy with my sister.
(253) Said "I love you"?: i don't remember.
(254) Missed someone?: all the time.
(255) Fought with a family member?: not recently.
(256) Fought with a friend?: eh, not anything recently.
(257) Had a serious conversation?: earlier today.
(258) Got drunk?: the Saturday before Halloween.
(259) Had sex?: uh... never.
Tuesday, November 16, 2004
crap mood
I am in a horrific mood today. My patience level is pretty much at zero. So if I was bitchy to you or if I am bitchy to you later, I apologize.
Though I don't know why I should apologize. Everyone has their bad days. Even me. I spend so much of my time trying not to be cross with people. I'm not a saint. People have been snippy with me... why can't I ever be snippy back? I try not to show extreme emotions too much, but when I do (and they're negative emotions), people look at me and tell me to not act the way I do. So then I swallow whatever I'm feeling, until it bubbles over and the cycle starts again. It's not a healthy way for me to deal with things, but it's what I've been doing for a long time.
Why am I being so pissy today? Well, I guess it's just stress adding up... from money issues and classes. If it was just classes, I would be able to deal a bit better. But I hate money. It stresses my mother to no end, who in turn stresses me out.
I think it also has to do with being so social. It sounds bad, but I'm really quite the introvert. I hate being in large crowds. I can deal with social settings usually... but this weekend, I barely had an hour where I could sit and meditate, or just plain chill. If I can't be by myself and unwind, then everything falls apart. Like now. It's not that I don't like people... I do (well, some people anyways :-P)... but my people skills aren't the best, and sometimes when I speak, I can just hear people thinking "wow, she's kind of dumb. She can't even get her words out" and it flusters me. I'm not good at taking my thoughts and making them verbal. I'm tempted to take a vow of silence and just write out everything I want to say. Maybe then I'll stop feeling so damned moronic.
Yeah, my crappy mood also spreads to my self-image. I hate myself today. I'm stupid, a big bitch, gaining weight, unattractive, blah blah blah. Basically, I'm inadequate.
Well, I got a 98 on my latest theo paper, so that made me feel a LITTLE better. But not really. The storm cloud's over my head and it will remain there unless something really good happens. Or I get sleep.
Maybe I should not go to the basketball game tonight. But if I don't, then I'll just hate myself even more for letting myself withdraw from everyone and missing a good time.
At least I know this mood will pass. My goal is to not alienate any friends. Of course, if they stop being a friend because I was difficult for one day, then maybe they never really were good friends, so...
Gilmore Girls rerun is on now. Maybe if I watch that, it'll help my mood. GG always makes me smile.
Though I don't know why I should apologize. Everyone has their bad days. Even me. I spend so much of my time trying not to be cross with people. I'm not a saint. People have been snippy with me... why can't I ever be snippy back? I try not to show extreme emotions too much, but when I do (and they're negative emotions), people look at me and tell me to not act the way I do. So then I swallow whatever I'm feeling, until it bubbles over and the cycle starts again. It's not a healthy way for me to deal with things, but it's what I've been doing for a long time.
Why am I being so pissy today? Well, I guess it's just stress adding up... from money issues and classes. If it was just classes, I would be able to deal a bit better. But I hate money. It stresses my mother to no end, who in turn stresses me out.
I think it also has to do with being so social. It sounds bad, but I'm really quite the introvert. I hate being in large crowds. I can deal with social settings usually... but this weekend, I barely had an hour where I could sit and meditate, or just plain chill. If I can't be by myself and unwind, then everything falls apart. Like now. It's not that I don't like people... I do (well, some people anyways :-P)... but my people skills aren't the best, and sometimes when I speak, I can just hear people thinking "wow, she's kind of dumb. She can't even get her words out" and it flusters me. I'm not good at taking my thoughts and making them verbal. I'm tempted to take a vow of silence and just write out everything I want to say. Maybe then I'll stop feeling so damned moronic.
Yeah, my crappy mood also spreads to my self-image. I hate myself today. I'm stupid, a big bitch, gaining weight, unattractive, blah blah blah. Basically, I'm inadequate.
Well, I got a 98 on my latest theo paper, so that made me feel a LITTLE better. But not really. The storm cloud's over my head and it will remain there unless something really good happens. Or I get sleep.
Maybe I should not go to the basketball game tonight. But if I don't, then I'll just hate myself even more for letting myself withdraw from everyone and missing a good time.
At least I know this mood will pass. My goal is to not alienate any friends. Of course, if they stop being a friend because I was difficult for one day, then maybe they never really were good friends, so...
Gilmore Girls rerun is on now. Maybe if I watch that, it'll help my mood. GG always makes me smile.
Friday, November 12, 2004
T.G.I.F (part 2)
So I registered for classes. I got everything I wanted, except for Women in the Bible. Instead, I'm taking Race and Family. It will count towards the women's studies minor, so hey, that's cool. All my professors for the spring are women so far... I don't know my english002 prof yet. Considering all but one of my profs this semester are men, it'll be nice for a change. Oh, and the Race and Family class is at the same time as Women in the Bible, so that's perfect.
What's not so perfect right now is the family situation. My dad lost his job. Money will be tight for a while. But hey, we've survived before with my dad unemployed... though that time, my brother and i weren't both in college. Thankfully for me, we've taken out loans, so we don't have to pay anything for the time being... just books and my apartment. And books for spring semester will be paid from the money I made working on election night and the money I get from band. Hopefully that will cover it. Plus, I'll have whatever money I make over winter break at Hallmark. So I apologize in advance to my friends because I probably won't have very nice Christmas presents for anyone. But textbooks are (unfortunately) more important than presents. Plus, this way, I feel like I am helping my parents out.
So yeah, that's that. If I've been moody or preoccupied lately, also, that's what I've been stressing about. I hate money.
It's a good thing I'm becoming a social worker. Haha.
Anyways, off to Apple Holler! :-)
What's not so perfect right now is the family situation. My dad lost his job. Money will be tight for a while. But hey, we've survived before with my dad unemployed... though that time, my brother and i weren't both in college. Thankfully for me, we've taken out loans, so we don't have to pay anything for the time being... just books and my apartment. And books for spring semester will be paid from the money I made working on election night and the money I get from band. Hopefully that will cover it. Plus, I'll have whatever money I make over winter break at Hallmark. So I apologize in advance to my friends because I probably won't have very nice Christmas presents for anyone. But textbooks are (unfortunately) more important than presents. Plus, this way, I feel like I am helping my parents out.
So yeah, that's that. If I've been moody or preoccupied lately, also, that's what I've been stressing about. I hate money.
It's a good thing I'm becoming a social worker. Haha.
Anyways, off to Apple Holler! :-)
T.G.I.F
It's Friday! I am so happy that this week is over... though, really, this week was not bad school-wise. In fact, it was pretty easy. After Monday, that is. I had a mini-paper due on Tuesday (which ended up being OVER the 2 pg limit. Which I never do, so go me), and another mini-paper due Thursday. Nothing like last week. However, unfortunately for me, I've had headaches every day this week. Maybe today will be different. Because it's Friday!
Anyways, so not much going on today, class-wise. Sit and take notes. I do register for classes for the spring semester though... during band. Which means I'll be missing the first hour. That's some sad news. Or maybe not. Here's hoping that I get into all the classes I want, or my schedule will become messed up. Oh, and tonight is Apple Holler with the band!! We will be taking a hayrack ride (probably with no hay, if it's like last year) and then eating s'mores and drinking cidar around a big bonfire. Last year, it was a lot of fun, even though I didn't really know anyone.
Well, I have more to blog about, but it'll have to come later. I have to finish getting ready for class.
Anyways, so not much going on today, class-wise. Sit and take notes. I do register for classes for the spring semester though... during band. Which means I'll be missing the first hour. That's some sad news. Or maybe not. Here's hoping that I get into all the classes I want, or my schedule will become messed up. Oh, and tonight is Apple Holler with the band!! We will be taking a hayrack ride (probably with no hay, if it's like last year) and then eating s'mores and drinking cidar around a big bonfire. Last year, it was a lot of fun, even though I didn't really know anyone.
Well, I have more to blog about, but it'll have to come later. I have to finish getting ready for class.
Tuesday, November 09, 2004
regarding MeMe requests...
Sorry I don't have any of the Memes done yet. Things have been busy and it's only Monday! (well, it's Tuesday now, technically...) Hopefully things will get a little quieter later in the week and I'll be able to take the pictures and post them.
In the meantime, when you post your 3 things, please also include who you are! I know the first request is Nance, and the second is Tory. But other than that... just let me know, so I can say "this is what wanted to see." It's just not as much fun to say "this is what anonymous wanted to see."
In the meantime, when you post your 3 things, please also include who you are! I know the first request is Nance, and the second is Tory. But other than that... just let me know, so I can say "this is what
Sunday, November 07, 2004
MeMe
I stole this from Nance, who stole it from Krisnreine. I have no idea why it's called MeMe. But I thought it would be fun to do, especially since I have a digital camera. I have no idea how to post pictures in here, but I can figure it out. So here's what you do...
Think of three (3) pictures you'd like to see relating to me. Things around my house, family, neighborhood yada yada... something that won't be too hard to take a picture of.
Post them in my comments section, and I will comply!
But uh... since my family doesn't live here, don't ask for anything about them. And neighborhood might be a little difficult, since I live in a city. But anything around the apartment is fair game.
Think of three (3) pictures you'd like to see relating to me. Things around my house, family, neighborhood yada yada... something that won't be too hard to take a picture of.
Post them in my comments section, and I will comply!
But uh... since my family doesn't live here, don't ask for anything about them. And neighborhood might be a little difficult, since I live in a city. But anything around the apartment is fair game.
craziness...
Yup, that pretty much sums up the past week. And on top of it, the election came and went, and Bush is president for another 4 years. And boy, do I have plenty to say about THAT. But hey, whining about it isn't going to get anyone anywhere. Instead, I will be doing what I can to try to prevent certain things from happening. All signs indicate a culture war and hey, I'm there. Actually, some people think we're already in a culture war (one of these people is the former president Clinton who, despite being a hypocrite in respect to international affairs, is quite a smart man), but this is just the beginning.
I don't really want to blog about where I think this country is headed. I already have a headache and thinking more about the country might make my head explode. So I'm going to be egocentric and talk about my little world.
I've been feeling a lot like a heinous bitch lately. I don't know... I just have no patience for anyone. It's probably related to the major lack of sleep I got this past week. That, and stress. I have two papers due Monday (I wrote one today... the other one gets it's time tomorrow) and another two due Tuesday (though one is optional, and I've weighed my options and it might not get done). There's a basketball game on Monday that I probably shouldn't go to, but since I'm being so anti-social this weekend, I think I'll go have some fun. I haven't left my apartment all weekend, though tomorrow I have to meet my philosophy group at Starbucks. Mmm, coffee... anyways. That's not going to exactly be fun though, 'cause we're compiling our paper.
Okay, I lied about saying I wasn't going to talk more about the election... http://chrisevans3d.com/files/iq.htm
I think the part about the positive correlation between divorce rate and voting for Bush is quite interesting. And CT has the highest av IQ out of the 50 states. And IL isn't too shabby either, at #9.
Now I'm done.
Keane. The band. I can't get enough of them. They have a song on the OC soundtrack, vol. 2. Check it out. Also, Jem's cover of Paul McCartney's Maybe I'm Amazed is on there, and it's beautiful. If I ever get married, I think I would want that played as the first dance with my hubby. More about Keane, for those who haven't heard of them (which seems to be quite a bit of people). They're brit rock, but without guitars. Their guitar player left the band before they hit it big, and instead of replacing of him, they decided to just stay a trio - piano, percussion, vocalist. It's a different kind of sound, but it works well for them (well, it's not really different, because Coldplay has been doing the same sort of thing for a while, but... yeah). I think they're just absolutely fantastic.
There are a bunch of movies out, or that will be coming out soon, that I want to see. First off, P.S. with Laura Linney and Topher Grace. I'm starting to respect Laura Linney more and more... she's fast becoming one of my favorite actresses. And Topher Grace is just adorable. There isn't anything about him that I don't like (and he even grew up in CT, near where I lived). The movie looks to be maybe a little bit cheesy, but I want to see it all the same. Another movie... Alfie. Jude Law is not only one good looking man, but a good actor as well. However, another Jude Law movie has my interested more peaked... Closer. I saw a commercial for it on tv the other night and now I must see it. Also, I think It's All About Love is FINALLY coming out (it was supposed to come out like 2 years ago). I'm so curious about that movie, it's another must see. Now I just have to find time to watch these movies.
Garden State comes out on dvd at the end of December. I think I might just skip renting it and just buy it. I'm so bummed that I never got to see it in the theater... I've recently become addicted to Zach Braff's blog. He is one funny guy.
So now that I've blogged quite a bit about entertainment stuff, I suppose I should go to sleep. My head is pounding. Maybe I'll have a glass of juice beforehand. I'm thirsty.
I don't really want to blog about where I think this country is headed. I already have a headache and thinking more about the country might make my head explode. So I'm going to be egocentric and talk about my little world.
I've been feeling a lot like a heinous bitch lately. I don't know... I just have no patience for anyone. It's probably related to the major lack of sleep I got this past week. That, and stress. I have two papers due Monday (I wrote one today... the other one gets it's time tomorrow) and another two due Tuesday (though one is optional, and I've weighed my options and it might not get done). There's a basketball game on Monday that I probably shouldn't go to, but since I'm being so anti-social this weekend, I think I'll go have some fun. I haven't left my apartment all weekend, though tomorrow I have to meet my philosophy group at Starbucks. Mmm, coffee... anyways. That's not going to exactly be fun though, 'cause we're compiling our paper.
Okay, I lied about saying I wasn't going to talk more about the election... http://chrisevans3d.com/files/iq.htm
I think the part about the positive correlation between divorce rate and voting for Bush is quite interesting. And CT has the highest av IQ out of the 50 states. And IL isn't too shabby either, at #9.
Now I'm done.
Keane. The band. I can't get enough of them. They have a song on the OC soundtrack, vol. 2. Check it out. Also, Jem's cover of Paul McCartney's Maybe I'm Amazed is on there, and it's beautiful. If I ever get married, I think I would want that played as the first dance with my hubby. More about Keane, for those who haven't heard of them (which seems to be quite a bit of people). They're brit rock, but without guitars. Their guitar player left the band before they hit it big, and instead of replacing of him, they decided to just stay a trio - piano, percussion, vocalist. It's a different kind of sound, but it works well for them (well, it's not really different, because Coldplay has been doing the same sort of thing for a while, but... yeah). I think they're just absolutely fantastic.
There are a bunch of movies out, or that will be coming out soon, that I want to see. First off, P.S. with Laura Linney and Topher Grace. I'm starting to respect Laura Linney more and more... she's fast becoming one of my favorite actresses. And Topher Grace is just adorable. There isn't anything about him that I don't like (and he even grew up in CT, near where I lived). The movie looks to be maybe a little bit cheesy, but I want to see it all the same. Another movie... Alfie. Jude Law is not only one good looking man, but a good actor as well. However, another Jude Law movie has my interested more peaked... Closer. I saw a commercial for it on tv the other night and now I must see it. Also, I think It's All About Love is FINALLY coming out (it was supposed to come out like 2 years ago). I'm so curious about that movie, it's another must see. Now I just have to find time to watch these movies.
Garden State comes out on dvd at the end of December. I think I might just skip renting it and just buy it. I'm so bummed that I never got to see it in the theater... I've recently become addicted to Zach Braff's blog. He is one funny guy.
So now that I've blogged quite a bit about entertainment stuff, I suppose I should go to sleep. My head is pounding. Maybe I'll have a glass of juice beforehand. I'm thirsty.
Tuesday, November 02, 2004
wired
Okay... so I told myself that I would go to bed early. It's now past 1 AM. Not exactly early. And I am kind of hyper. Which is totally wrong, because I got a whole 4 hours of sleep last night. Why? Because I was studying for my research methods test... and I think I failed the test anyways. A few good hours of sleep sacrified for nothing. All I have to say is... there goes my 'A' in research methods. :sigh:
But anyways... I'm not going to think about that anymore.
I just made up my schedule for spring semester. The idea of an english minor is out. Too many boring classes. Instead, I'm going to have a women's studies minor. Which was what I intended to have freshman year. I should have just stuck with it. I only need to take 5 classes to get it, too. I'm hopefully taking 3 in the spring, and one of them, Women in the Bible, will also count as my third required theo class. All the psych classes seem to have incredibly heinous times, so it looks like I'll be stuck taking Intro to Social Psych. I took social psych at COD, but the credit didn't transfer over, so this will probably end up being fairly repetitive. But hey, that's alright with me.
So here's what it looks like I'm taking (I register next Friday, which is pretty early, so hopefully, I will get the classes I want)...
Rhetoric and Comp 2 (gag...)... MWF 11-11:50
Intro to Social Psych... MWF 12-12:50
Women in Society... MW 1-2:15
Women in the Bible... TuTh 11-12:15
Women/Crime/Justice... TuTh 12:25-1:50
Not bad, huh? I'm getting more and more excited about these classes.
The women's studies minor also means that I can graduate in Dec '05, instead of in the spring of '06. I was thinking about it... and after the spring term, all I need is 2 more classes from women's studies, and at least 1 more psych class. If I can take 2 psych classes, that makes 4 classes. And I need something called "senior experience," and then I'm done. So I could bump the WS minor to a major, but that would be pretty intense. I suppose I'll talk to my advisor and see what she thinks (if she's any help at all).
On non-school related items, Halloween was fun. I recovered enough to go out. Saturday night was kind of crazy, with the band party. But it was good times. Maybe I'll post a pic here of us in our costumes. I was wearing a wig, so people kept looking at me weird, then going "Leah! I almost didn't recognize you!" It was funny.
Well anyways... as eventful as the weekend was, I don't feel like blogging any more at the moment. Tomorrow night, I will be working (yes, working... and getting paid! $10 an hour!) on some election stuff (counting votes or something equally entertaining). And Wednesday night is the first basketball game of the season! Woohoo!
But anyways... I'm not going to think about that anymore.
I just made up my schedule for spring semester. The idea of an english minor is out. Too many boring classes. Instead, I'm going to have a women's studies minor. Which was what I intended to have freshman year. I should have just stuck with it. I only need to take 5 classes to get it, too. I'm hopefully taking 3 in the spring, and one of them, Women in the Bible, will also count as my third required theo class. All the psych classes seem to have incredibly heinous times, so it looks like I'll be stuck taking Intro to Social Psych. I took social psych at COD, but the credit didn't transfer over, so this will probably end up being fairly repetitive. But hey, that's alright with me.
So here's what it looks like I'm taking (I register next Friday, which is pretty early, so hopefully, I will get the classes I want)...
Rhetoric and Comp 2 (gag...)... MWF 11-11:50
Intro to Social Psych... MWF 12-12:50
Women in Society... MW 1-2:15
Women in the Bible... TuTh 11-12:15
Women/Crime/Justice... TuTh 12:25-1:50
Not bad, huh? I'm getting more and more excited about these classes.
The women's studies minor also means that I can graduate in Dec '05, instead of in the spring of '06. I was thinking about it... and after the spring term, all I need is 2 more classes from women's studies, and at least 1 more psych class. If I can take 2 psych classes, that makes 4 classes. And I need something called "senior experience," and then I'm done. So I could bump the WS minor to a major, but that would be pretty intense. I suppose I'll talk to my advisor and see what she thinks (if she's any help at all).
On non-school related items, Halloween was fun. I recovered enough to go out. Saturday night was kind of crazy, with the band party. But it was good times. Maybe I'll post a pic here of us in our costumes. I was wearing a wig, so people kept looking at me weird, then going "Leah! I almost didn't recognize you!" It was funny.
Well anyways... as eventful as the weekend was, I don't feel like blogging any more at the moment. Tomorrow night, I will be working (yes, working... and getting paid! $10 an hour!) on some election stuff (counting votes or something equally entertaining). And Wednesday night is the first basketball game of the season! Woohoo!
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