hey look, another survey...

Snatched this from Tory's LJ. As usual.

THREE WAYS I AM STILL JUST A KID
1. I love stuffed animals.
2. I like to order off the kid's menu.
3. I like candy. A lot.

THREE WAYS I AM ALREADY OLD
1. I have arthritis
2. I have a horrible memory.
3. Lots of stress. Lots and lots of stress.

THREE WAYS THAT I'M A STEREOTYPICAL "BOY"
1. I love blue...? I'm really not a tomboy at all though.
2. -
3. -

THREE WAYS THAT I'M A STEREOTYPICAL "GIRL"
1. I like to wear pink (not Barbie doll pink though)
2. I know my designer brands.
3. I like to watch chick flicks.

THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS
1. Working out on a regular basis.
2. Internship.
3. Skiing, maybe.

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY
1. Leah
2. Elle
3. Hey You

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD
1. OshKosh0583 (currently)
2. FinePrint4 (my first aol name)
3. Whsprwhodares (another random name)

THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF
1. I'm open minded.
2. I have good friends.
3. I'm a pretty good listener.

THREE THINGS YOU HATE ABOUT YOURSELF
1. How insecure I can be.
2. How indecisive I am.
3. I get annoyed with people too easily.

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE
1. Japanese
2. Japanese
3. ... and more Japanese.

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU
1. Classes
2. Insects
3. Telling a guy how I really feel about him.

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS
1. Water
2. Clothes
3. Some sugar or caffeine

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW
1. pink Billabong zip up sweatshirt
2. grey tank top from Express
3. black sweatpants from Express

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS
1. Keane
2. Maroon 5
3. Death Cab For Cutie

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS AT PRESENT
1. Ballerina - Leona Naess
2. Lack of Color - Death Cab For Cutie
3. Such Great Heights - Iron and Wine

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP (Love is a given!)
1. Trust
2. Comfort
3. Understanding

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE (You figure them out!)
1. I have my belly button pierced.
2. I am going to grad school to get a ph.d in psych.
3. I play the flute.

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU
1. Eyes
2. Smile
3. Facial hair (actually... the lack of)

THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN'T DO
1. understand why people feel the need to take rights away from other people.
2. like Bush.
3. cheat on a test.

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES
1. watching movies.
2. Photoshop.
3. Listening to/playing music.

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW
1. Go see In Good Company.
2. Eat at Olive Garden.
3. Kiss... someone.

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
1. social worker (helping battered women and runaway teens)
2. working for Planned Parenthood.
3. interior designer.

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. France
2. Japan
3. Italy

THREE KID'S NAMES
1. not having any...
2. -
3. -

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. Fall in love (I have yet to do so).
2. Own an ex-racehorse.
3. Get a Masters in Social Welfare.

post-Christmas

Okay, I know I haven't blogged in a while. But since I've been home (a week and a half), I've worked 53 hours (including the 5 hours I'm working tonight). Needless to say, I've been busy.

Since last week, Christmas has obviously came and gone. I was kind of sick, so it wasn't anything really spectacular. But it wasn't bad. We opened presents on Christmas Eve, as we usually do. I was feeling so not-well that when my mom came and woke me up (I had been napping), I didn't even feel like opening presents. But I did anyways.

I bet you're all dying to know what I got. So here's a list...

iPod (no, not a mini)
headphones
shoes (which came in the mail two days ago)
a Shins cd
an Aeropostale gift card
a Best Buy gift card (which I used to buy the Garden State dvd and the Buffy season 4 boxed set)
some cute socks
some sweaters
a Peanuts desk calendar

So. Garden State. Is. SO.GOOD. I love it. It's quickly on my favorite movies list. It was kind of cool, watching it for the first time, but knowing the music by heart and seeing how the songs fit the scenes.

As for the Buffy boxed set, I bought it because... well, because i wanted to. I thought about getting Alias season 3, but I have all the episodes on tape, and I'm still smarting over the fact that most of s3 sucked a lot. Plus, season 4 of Buffy (the first year she was in college) is one of my favorites (along with season 2, of course). It was before Riley got annoying and "bad" and stuff. My sister made fun of me, but hey... what else is new?

No plans for New Year's. I have a few days off around New Year's, but I think I'm just going to sit at home with my family. I want to go up to Milwaukee, but parking might be an issue that I just don't feel like dealing with.

Well anyways... work soon. I better dry my hair and get dressed. Work yesterday morning was... interesting, but I'll have to blog about it later. After work tonight I'm hopefully going out with Bev (who I haven't seen in forever) and Pat. It'll be the first time I've gone out with friends since I've been back home.

I hope everyone had a great Christmas and has a safe New Year's.

another 2004 survey

Yup, another one. And don't forget, there's a real entry (and a long one) before this!

best _____ of the year:
1. party: the last Highlander (band party)... mostly because I didn't get sick, but I was really giddy drunk for a while.
2. show: Lost!! Or the OC or American Dreams... or Friends (until it ended)
3. cd: Keane - Hopes and Fears
4. movie: um... I don't know. There are still a lot of movies that came out this year that I haven't seen but are supposed to be amazing (namely Garden State)
5. song: hm... I don't know.
6. experience: I can't pick just one.
7. concert: Sarah McLachlan with Tory!
8. book: Pride and Prejudice (though it didn't come out this year... obviously)
9. month: um... I really don't know. Maybe December? The rest of the year really wasn't so great.
10. day: uh... geez, I have no idea.

worst ____ of the year:
(I'm skipping this section because I started to answer the questions but all I could say was "I don't know")

hopes for 2005:
1. predict something that you think will happen in 2005?: I will have a nervous breakdown. But considering I have those from time to time, that's nothing spectacular.
2. what do you hope changes about your country?: This country stops being so ego-centric and unaccepting of many people.
3. what do you hope for yourself?: my grades will continue to improve, I will find a good job for the summer, and come late next year, I will kick ass on the GREs. Also, that I stop being a chicken.
4. what do you hope for your family?: That my dad finds a job, everyone stays out of trouble, and Brownie stays especially healthy and happy.
5. what do you hope for your best friend?: the world, of course!

during 2004:
1. where were you when it began?: with Bev and roommate at a party somewhere in Naperville.
2. did you stay up?: yup... champagne at midnight, but very soon after, Bev decided she was too drunk to stay any longer
3. what was your new year wish?: didn't have one.
4. how many boy/girlfriends?: none.
5. broke up?: well, i didn't have anyone to break up with, so no.
6. have any crushes?: Yes. One. Well, one and a half, if you include an attraction that didn't last for very long.
7. care to mention names?: no.
8. new friends?: A bunch of them.
9. had to say goodbye?: naw, not really. To some of the seniors who graduated in the spring.
10. missed anyone?: always.
11. win anything?: minor things, I'm sure.
12. best place you went to?: well, the only places I went all year is home and the surrounding area and Milwaukee. Oh, and Cincinnati. Ugh.
13. worst place you went to?: they're all equally blah.
14. happiest moment?: :shrug: I don't remember one really happy moment... a bunch of semi-happy ones.
15. how was your birthday?: it was okay. I turned 21. :-)
16. best present?: hm, not sure. Clothes and shoes for my birthday. Apparently, I'm getting something really cool for Christmas from my dad...

I'll be home for Christmas..

I have that song in my head. Heard it a few times while working at Hallmark.

My first day back at Hallmark wasn't TOO bad. I met a lot of new people. Worked with AMK for four hours, but mostly she was in the back doing important assistant manager stuff. I work with her for 6 and a half lovely hours tomorrow, but for all but two and a half of those, other people will be there as well. But I have to CLOSE. With her. Ugh.

Well, I'm sure I'll get over it.

Oh yes, and I finally know all my grades. Here are the grades that I predicted that I would have in the middle of last week, along with my actual grades...

Shakespeare:
predicted:B
final: AB

Theories of Personality:
predicted: C
final: BC

Phil.:
predicted: AB
final: AB

Christ/culture:
predicted: A
final: A

Research Methods:
predicted: B
final: B

Which leaves me with a GPA of 3.28, and a cumulative of 2.9. The cumulative GPA is slowly rising (it started off after last fall as about a 2.65). AND, UCBerkeley (where I want to go to grad school) only looks at the last two years of undergrad! So now I just have to keep improving.

So you'll notice that my theories of personality grade is higher than I thought it would be. I thought predicting a C was thinking positively. I had a C at midterm. Which means I must have done decently on the final exam... so I checked my final exam grade on blackboard, and I got an 85! By far the highest test grade that I got in that class (the class average was a 78.5). Considering how much I studied for that class and how frustrated I was getting, this is a nice payoff. But I am definately more than happy to be done with that class.

My Shakespeare grade also rose a little, which also means I did pretty well on the final exam, because on my last paper, the prof gave me a B, which gives me a total of two Bs and one AB on the papers.

So really, with the exception of the Research Methods final (which I do NOT want to think about. Ever.), I did pretty well. Yay for me!

Tomorrow, I start work at 3. And I work every day for the rest of the week... until Saturday, which is Christmas (and Hallmark is closed)!

Oh, I also have off New Year's Eve, New Year's Day, and the day after that. I'm not quite sure what the manager thinks I'm planning on doing, but now I'm free to do anything. I want to go up to Milwaukee, but I'm not sure who's going to be there, and where I'm going to park, etc. We'll see.

I also don't work very often after New Year's. Ah well. I'm racking up the hours now.

I have two presents bought so far, quite a few more to go... Ugh. I'm going to have to go Wednesday after work, because I get off at 6.

My mom just ordered me a pair of shoes on the internet. Yay! And she bought me a new watch (my old Roxy watch's battery died and she just told me to buy a new one, since I'd had that one for like 4 years). It's little and pretty and blue.

Well, I guess this is a long enough entry. I'm going to finish Emma (I've been reading furiously yesterday and today... I've only got about 10-12 pages left), then go to sleep.

dream a little dream...

Funny enough, I blogged about not being able to sleep and half an hour later, I think I was out cold. Maybe all I needed to do was some bitching.

My sleep even involved a dream that I remember. And guess who was kind of in it? (if you were a frequent diaryland reader, or even an unfrequent one, you'll probably be able to guess)

Dave. Yes. He from my year at COD. "I watched him walk away and never saw him again" Dave.

And it was totally random, because he wasn't even the focus in the dream. He did not appear in bodily form. Plus, I haven't actually really thought about him in a few months.

The dream: It was my first day back at Hallmark. Random people were loitering around, including this one guy. He's waiting for someone or another to show up, so he sits down, makes himself comfortable. Karyn (the store manager) is there and doesn't seem to mind. I'm having a hard time with the registers (a harder time than I really will have tomorrow) and customers are getting impatient. Rachel is working too (I think it was Rachel... it was the only other worker there that I knew, anyways), and she disappears for a little while. Then she comes back up to the register, saying that she was talking to that guy. And he had gotten married recently or something (he looked about 20-21). And he has this friend named Dave. His last name was mentioned, but I don't remember it... just that it began with a B. Somehow, Rachel knew that this was THE Dave, and I guess she told the guy my situation or something, because he gave her Dave's number to give to me.

I wasn't exactly excited about this in my dream. I was very very baffled. And it was about then that I woke up and thought "what the hell?"

That's what I'm still thinking, actually, but to a much lesser extent, because I know it doesn't mean anything. Just my unconscious' way of being creative. It's just very interesting to analyze what my mood is before I go to sleep and have Dave dreams.

At the same time, I also want to jump up and down and scream that it's not fair, because I'm over him and have moved on. Maybe it was my unconscious' way of warning me that if I don't do something about my current crush, it's going to end up like the whole thing with Dave. Because that would really suck.

To say the very least.

Well, I'm going home soon, so I suppose I should finish packing. I'm sure I'll update from home with lots of fun Hallmark/AMK/customer stories.

can't...sleep...!

Yes, look at the lovely time. I can't sleep and it's really frustrating.

"Really frustrating." I have to develop a bigger vocab than THAT.

I keep thinking about two thousand things all at once. Sometimes my thoughts are so unrelated that it sounds like I'm hearing someone else's thoughts too.

I go home tomorrow. Or, rather, later today. And it's a good thing. I need the home environment right about now. And the fact that I'm saying that is not exactly a good sign. The problem is, as soon as I go home, I'm going to want to come back to Milwaukee. When I went home for Thanksgiving, I lasted for about two hours before I began to yearn for the relative quiet of my apartment.

Things here are... what they are. I guess they're neither good nor bad. Actually, things here are in an extreme state of neutral. I can feel my life stalling, and hopefully, one way or another, going home with jump start it.

Part of my problem might stem from the unfortunately fact that I have become very very good at keeping my mouth shut. Not saying things that I would really like to say, but thinking them in my head. Maybe that's what this insomnia is. I lay in the dark and think of all the things I should have said.

There's a poem by Shel Silverstein that is entitled something like "the What-ifs."

the semester is OVER!!

Finally.

Today's final was... ugh. It was bad. Real bad. That's all I'm going to say about it.

I picked up my band stipend today. Made over $100. Pretty exciting. Now I don't have to be a grinch about presents.

Going home on Sunday. There's a men's basketball game tomorrow against Arizona. Work at Hallmark starts on Monday. With AMK. Oh boy.

Oh yes, I think the stupid toilet in the apartment has backed up a little. Don't have a plunger, nor does Walgreens carry them. And Katie's gone, so she can't drive us to Walmart or someplace to buy one.

Sorry about the lack of flow from sentence to sentence. I'm so bored, it's spilling over into the blog. Who would have thought... I've been waiting for the semester to be over, and now that it is, I'm bored.

musings on Christmas

Just watched the OC. It made me feel better, knowing that while my Christmas isn't gearing up to be that great, at least my family isn't as demented as the Cohens. So yeah, my family isn't as messed up as an imaginary one. Woohoo.

Maybe this Christmas won't be so bad. They're never horrible... just nothing really special. Another day, but with presents. I work on Christmas Eve, so maybe that will put me in the holiday mood... depending on who I work with. And as long as I don't come home to my parents arguing or something.

And I'm sure my brother will be with his girlfriend at some point, and my sister will be with her boyfriend. And I'll play with Brownie and his inevitably big amount of new presents.

At least there's a cute, happy little dog around.

one more final to go...

So I found out this morning after my Christ/culture final that I got a 100 on my presentation in that class. Woohoo! The final was annoying, but not overly difficult.

Tomorrow is the Research Methods final. It's not as cumulative as I thought it was going to be, but it's such a pain in the neck to study for. I apparently did not take many notes for this section... but then again, the last two weeks were strictly independent project presentations. I think I need to call Amanda and make sure I have all the notes...

But after tomorrow, at 3 PM... the semester is OVER. Yay!!!! I'm so sick of these classes. I miss 8 week classes. I really do.

The OC is on tonight... and it's new. It's probably the one show that has a new episode this week. But that'd be because they didn't start the new season until last month. So while I really should be studying for Research Methods, I will probably watch that show. I'm bad. I know. Whatever.

2 more to go...

Two more finals, of course. Christ/Culture and Research Methods. One should be really easy, the other really difficult.

Today's Shakespeare exam was just kind of a pain in the neck. 10 short answers, 10 quote IDs. I think I may have messed up some of the quote IDs, but I got all the short answers right, I'm pretty sure. He also gave me a B on the last paper, which I kind of knew he would. He said that my topic was too broad, and that's what I thought he would say. Oh well. I'm pretty sure my final grade will be a B. Not too bad.

Ooo, lets play a fun game. I'm going to predict my final grades in all my classes and then we can see if I'm right.

Shakespeare: B
Theories of Personality: C
Phil.: AB
Christ/culture: A
Research Methods: B

I took a nap this afternoon... I wasn't going to, and then I decided that I would sleep for 2 hours, tops. Instead, I slept for 3 hours. Arg. But I'm tired again, so I guess it works out. Katie tried to get me to go bowling, but since I have a final at 8 AM again tomorrow (last 8 AM final!), I said no. I suppose I could have gone, 'cause I only studied for a little while afer she left, but now I'm being completely hit with tiredness, so I think I might just shower and go to sleep.

Oh, I just remembered... MeMe requests. I still haven't posted them. I think I've taken the pictures... I'm just too lazy to hook my camera up to my computer and upload them.

end of the year survey

I always enjoy surveys. Especially when they distract me from studying. :-)


1. What did you do in 2004 that you'd never done before?
-take summer classes... though I dropped them after a week anyways.

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
-nope, didn't make resolutions, and i will not make any for this next year.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
-nope... but yay for Pam being pregnant!

4. Did anyone close to you die?
-no... and lets keep it that way, 'kay?

5. What countries did you visit?
-uh... the US...

6. What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004?
-good luck... at least, better luck.

7. What date(s) from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
-there's no one date. A lot of this year has actually blurred together.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
-um... I didn't die?

9. What was your biggest failure?
-not getting a job over the summer, and not telling someone how I feel

10. Did you suffer any illness or injury?
-just the usual amounts of sickness. And my wisdom teeth hurt like a mother until I got them pulled over the summer.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
-a book (Pride and Prejudice) and some cds.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
-umm... my dog?

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
-the people who voted for the gay marriage amendment in the Constitution.

14. Where did most of your money go?
-food, presents

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
-moving in with Katie over the summer. And seeing friends once the school year started back up.

16. What song will always remind you of 2004?
-She Will Be Loved - Maroon 5. And that song by Usher.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? -pretty much the same, maybe a little sadder.
ii. thinner or fatter? -fatter... by like a whole 5 lbs, if that.
iii. richer or poorer? -poorer. Much poorer.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
-saying exactly what I mean to say. And uh, making money.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
-eating, maybe. But I like food.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
-working at Hallmark, hanging out with my family (well, my mom and sis and the dog, anyways), hopefully seeing friends.

22. Did you fall in love in 2004?
-In love? No.

23. How many one-night stands?
-365. Yup.

24. What was your favorite TV program?
-Alias (even though season 3 mostly sucked), LOST, Friends, American Dreams, the OC, Gilmore Girls, That 70s Show

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
-hate? No.

26. What was the best book you read?
-Pride and Prejudice, by Jane Austen. Or Otherwise Engaged, but I don't remember if I read that this year or last.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
-Keane!! Jem. Frou Frou. Postal Service. Death Cab for Cutie. And some others... it was a very good music year for me.

28. What did you want and get?
-um... my wisdom teeth to come out, which they thankfully did.

29. What did you want and not get?
-the Honda to not be taken away from me. Really good grades. A new piccolo. A new cd player (mine has a new annoying habit of skipping randomly... even though it's not supposed to! Grrrr). Riding lessons. To not have to explicitly say how i feel about someone and for him to just... know (which is totally irrational, but when have I claimed to be a rational person?).

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
-erm... I saw quite a few. I don't remember a lot of them. But probably the Notebook.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
-I went to Cheesecake Factory with my parents, then to see Shrek 2 with Tory. I turned 21.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
-less stress... especially concerning money.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004?
-pretty much the same as the past few years. Lots of comfort.

34. What kept you sane?
-music, friends, my dog, photoshop (though it also made me a bit more crazy).

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
-Michael Vartan. And Topher Grace.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
-Gay marriage, abortion, the environment.

37. Who did you miss?
-some friends! And my dog...

38. Who was the best new person you met?
-I met a lot of new people this year... a lot of the new people in band.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2004:
-obsessing over things that you have no control over is really not worth it.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
-"The hardest part is yet to come." Actually, I don't know.

one down, 3 to go!

I am DONE with theories of personality! Woohoo!

That is, unless I fail.

But really, I don't want to think about that. The final wasn't so bad... about 5 or 10 of them, I really wasn't so sure about... but there were 80 mult. choice questions, so 5-10 really isn't too bad. The essays weren't so bad either, except once again, I barely wrote two pages for each. I just ran out of things to say, which probably isn't a good sign.

Oh well. It's over, and there's nothing I can do about it now.

Next up... Shakespeare final. Short answers and quote identification. Short answers shouldn't be that hard... My last paper covered the last five plays we read, so that was a nice review. But quote identifications worry me, so I will be going over the major parts of the plays we read (all 11 of them) today. The final is at 8 AM tomorrow.

Let me just say, waking up at 7 was NOT cool. And I'm not so keene on doing it for the next two days.

I am, however, now going to go for a run (or more likely, a walk, since I haven't worked out in weeks) on the treadmill, because I don't want to take a nap. If I take a nap, I'll end up sleeping until like 5 PM, and then I won't have much time to study and I won't be able to get to sleep later.

Oh, I went to Walgreens yesterday to buy my pencils and the mint m&ms... but they were out of mint m&ms!! I was irrationally upset about that for about 5 minutes.

another entry

Yeah man. I'm a blogging machine.

Actually, I'm really spastic with my blogging. Sometimes I'll go weeks without blogging... then it's like I start feeling guilty and overcompensate and blog non-stop.

Anyway. Enough about my blogging habit.

Last night, I started freaking out, thinking I'd read my classes' syllabuses (or syllabi?) wrong or the profs put down the wrong exam date (hey! It happened to one of my friends... the syllabus said "wednesday" but the exam schedule said "monday" and she had to take it monday. So not cool). So I wrote, semi-nicely, my schedule. And now, blog-reader, I am going to share it with you...

Monday: Nothing... hahahahahaha.
Tuesday: Theories of Personality 8-10 AM
Wednesday: Shakespeare 8-10 AM
Thursday: Christ/Culture 8-10 AM
Friday: Research Methods 1-3 PM

Three 8 AM exams. Not.cool. I'm kind of glad the Theories of Personality one is my first one, now that I think about it. Because I'm panicking most about that one and Research Methods (my two psych classes. Huh. Go figure). I've got a whole studying schedule figured out. Look at me, all organized.

I'm off to Walgreens now. I'm still craving those damn M&Ms, and I need to buy new pencils, because I only have one working pencil in my bag right now and I KNOW it's going to break in the middle of the exam.

theories of personality = Zzzzzzzz

So I figured out what was going on with my template. I fixed it and to celebrate, changed the template. This one is simple, but I like it. The dots really weren't working for me anymore.

I've been more or less studying for my theories of personality final that is on Tuesday (my first final has to be the hardest one, of course) all day. Then again, I woke up at like 11, felt like crap, realized my stomach was cramping, and went back to sleep until like 2 PM.

Yes, I'm a bum. I know this.

The only other thing I really did today is make a wallpaper of beautiful Jude Law. I want to see Closer very badly. I finally broke down and got a photobucket account. So here is the wp: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v621/existentialiste/jude-law.jpg

Oh, I finally got a call from Karyn at Hallmark about my work schedule over Christmas break. I start next Monday, at noon. That week alone, I work 24 hours. Not bad, considering. Since I've realized that I need to use the money I made working on election night and the band stipend on Christmas presents, this Hallmark money will go towards textbooks for next semester.

The downfall about working next Monday is that I have to work with AMK (the annoying Assistant Manager Kristyn... who tries to be all bossy, but she's two years younger than me and naive as a six year old and has a high pitched, annoying voice. I'm sure I'll say more about her in upcoming entries). I haven't worked in a year, so we'll see how much I remember... and I know she's going to be all bossy and condescending.

I suppose I'll study for a while longer... until X-Files comes on at 12:30, anyways.

the semester is almost over

First off, there's something wonky going on with my template. I know, and I'm trying to get it fixed. And then I'm changing my template. Because I can.

I had my last classes of the semester yesterday. It's weird, knowing that all that is left are finals. Except for my phil. class. We handed in the final paper (with minor complications that resulted in a dull headache for me), and there's no final. Which is very very nice.

I have finals Tuesday-Friday. One a day. I think all of them are at 8 AM. Which sucks a lot. Because, really, only truly weird people are fully functional at that time.

So tonight was the big MU-UW Madison game (basketball of course... what else?). I was worried, but the MU men did pretty well for themselves. We won. There were a LOT of people there. The Bradley Center was sold out. And there were a lot of band people... much much more than there usually is. Some of them hadn't shown up to a game yet this season, I think. And they probably won't go to many more games. I, on the other hand, have no life, so I will probably go to quite a few of them.

After the game, I sort of fell into a funk, and that's where I am currently. I got invited to go hang out, but instead, I went home and listened to some music in attempt to unwind after being around massive crowds of people (big crowds of people really intimate me... they never used to bug me, because I could just blend in, but now they make me a bit anxious). I decided to read some Buffy episode transcripts, because I'm a nerd (and I like it that way). Read some of season 4, and a big of season 5, because Riley was in those seasons and I really liked Riley. I mean, he was no Angel, but hey, who is? Plus, Riley was [mostly] so good to Buffy. And he was witty. And sweet. And uh, Marc Blucas (who played him) is a cutie. Plus, I'm a big fan of relationships that end badly... no no. Not badly. I'm not MORBID. Their relationship ended with him saying he was going to leave unless she gave him a reason to stay, and then she ran up to the helicopter as it was leaving and was screaming his name because she thought of a reason for him to stay (because she loved him, of course), but helicopters are loud and he didn't see her and he left. Stuff like that is what I love, even though it puts me in these pensive moods.

Anyways, so I read a bit of dialogue from Riley. He was talking to Xander (one of Buffy and his friends)...

"I'm well aware of how lucky I am. Like, lottery lucky. When I'm with her it's like... it's like I'm split in two. Half of me is just... on fire, going crazy if I'm not touching her. The other half... is so still and peaceful... just perfectly content. Just knows: this is the one. (pause) But she doesn't love me."

It's just so sad, because he KNOWS. Or thinks he knows. Or something. But it's so sweet.

And dammit, I want a guy to think of me like that! Is that so difficult?

Yeah yeah, I know, it's just dialogue from a TV show, yadda yadda, I should get a life, etc. But I can't help it. This is the longest I've gone without a boyfriend... about a year and a half (yeah, boohoo, there are people my age who have never had a relationship. I know all this. Just let me whine!). And in the meantime, I got my heart completely clobbered once and I'm sure I'm primed to have something similar happen soon because I'm too timid to act on my feelings.

I just want a guy who will hug me and rub my back and tell me everything is alright even if it's not and I know he's lying just to make me feel better. Someone who I can cry in front of. Someone who will hug me at the end of the day even if I've been moody and difficult. Is that really so much to ask?

Wow, listen to me bitch about my lack of boyfriendness. But every once in a while, a girl's gotta be able to whine.

late-night survey

I was going to go to sleep. But I saw this survey on Tory's LJ and I just had to do it.

1. First Name: Leah
2. Were you named after anyone? nope
3. Do you wish on stars? not usually, but if I'm feeling whimsical I will.
4. When did you last cry? probably last week
5. Do you like your handwriting? it's been getting really messy lately
6. What is your favorite lunch meat? turkey breast. I'm not fond of lunch meat though
7. What is your birth date? May 22, 1983
8. What is your most embarrassing CD? I don't have embarrassing cds. Though I do have a random Limp Bizkit one that I have never listened to (a guy burned it for me)
9. If you were another person, would YOU be friends with you? perhaps... but since it will never happen, why even ask?
10. Are you a daredevil? very rarely.
11. Have you ever told a secret you swore not to tell? maybe
12. Do looks matter? A little, but personality is much more important.
13. How do you release anger? Usually, I repress it until it spills over. Then I cry or bitch to a friend.
14. Where is your second home? well, if my first home is my parents', then I guess the apartment in Milwaukee.
15. Do you trust others easily? nope.
16. What was your favorite toy as a child? cabbage patch kids
17. What class in school do you think is totally useless? well, in high school, gym, definately.
18. Do you have a journal? yes....
19. Do you use sarcasm a lot? never!
20. Have you ever been in a mosh pit? noooo.
21. Favorite movie? Dead Poets Society, Pleasantville, Love Actually, Almost Famous
26. What's your favorite ice cream? strawberry or cookies n cream
27. Shoe size? 6 1/2
28. What are your favorite colors? blue and silver
29. What is your least favorite thing about yourself? my stomach. And my social awkwardness.
30. Who/what do you miss most? my friends from Neuqua and New Canaan. And Brownie. And horseback riding.
32. What color pants are you wearing? black
33. What are you listening to right now? my roommate and a friend giggling and talking. And the buzzing in my ears.
34. Last thing you ate? some rice krispies
35. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? cornflower blue
36. What is your dream car? BMW
37. Last person you talked to on phone? umm... either Amanda or Candice last night.
38. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex? height and hair. Oh, and skin.
40. How are you today? tired, I bummed all day. And fat! Because I ate a lot.
41. Favorite drink? water, diet coke
42. Favorite sport? equestrian, tennis, ice hockey (to watch... GRRRRR to the NHL lockout), figure skating.
43. Hair color? blackish
44. Eye color? brown
45. Do you wear contacts? yup
46. Favorite month? December, May, July
47. Favorite food? strawberries, and then it varies. I get random cravings. Right now, the random craving is cheese pizza.
48. Last movie you watched? Whole Nine Yards tonight on TBS. Matthew Perry is so funny.
49. Favorite day of the year? I don't know. Usually the day after finals.
50. Scary movies or happy endings? happy endings. Though I enjoy sad endings too.
51. Summer or winter? autumn
52. Hugs or kisses? depends on the person...
53. Relationships or one night stands? relationships
54. What is your favorite dessert? anything with oreos, thanks to Tory! :-)
57. Living arrangements? apartment in Milwaukee with a roommate, most of the time. Otherwise at home with my family and dog.
58. Are you married or do you want to get married? not currently married, and it's not in the plans for the immediate future. Maybe someday. Maybe not.
59. Do you have any kids or do you want to have kids? no kids, nor do I want any. Maybe I will adopt one though.
60. What books are you reading? Emma, by Jane Austen. And some xenotransplantation book. And King Lear for Shakespeare
61. What's on your mouse pad? my mouse...
62. Favorite Games? Catch Phrase!! And Trivial Pursuit and Life.
63. What did you watch on TV last night? nothing... i was out.
64. Favorite smells? the air after it rains (but not in a city), brownies baking.
65. What is the first thing you think when you wake up? "stupid alarm clock..."

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE ME
01. finals
02. all types of insects
03. people

THREE THINGS I DON'T UNDERSTAND
01. people... especially guys.
02. why i do badly on a test when I study for it every night for a week.
03. html

THREE THINGS I AM WEARING RIGHT NOW
01. sweatpants from Express
02. John Mayer concert shirt
03. big grey sweatshirt

THREE THINGS ON MY DESK
01. my printer
02. my cell
03. a hairtie

THREE THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE I DIE
01. fall in love
02. own some horses
03. read The Mandarins.

THREE THINGS MOST PEOPLE DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU
01. I have my belly button pierced
02. I don't eat meat for non-animal rights reasons.
03. I'm a natural blonde (... just kidding!)

THREE THINGS I SAY THE MOST
01. "really"
02. "f-ing a"
03. "what?"

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO
01. France
02. Italy
03. Ireland to horseback ride.

THREE NAMES THAT YOU GO BY
01. Leah
02. Elle
03. sknank

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE OR HAD
01. oshkosh0583... current name
02. fineprint4... i think the first screen name i ever had
03. sunshine4evr... another very old one.

yum yum bumble bee...

Bumble bee tuna I love bumble bee bumble bee tuna.

listening to: Switchfoot

Sorry, I have that song in my head and I have absolutely no idea why.

My Roxy watch died yesterday. It's been 8:54 AM on the 31st for over 24 hours now. Huh. Imagine that.

Of course, this means now I have to send it in to get a new battery. Damn Roxy watches and needing special batteries. And I'll have to wait two and a half weeks before I can go home and do it. Arg. Maybe for Christmas, I'll just ask for a new watch. I've had this one for quite a few years, and I got it secondhand from my sister.

Then again, I want these boots: http://shop.skechers.com/shop/productimages/largeImages/3404_B.jpg
Or, these shoes:
http://shop.skechers.com/shop/productimages/largeImages/35601_BLK.jpg
Or these:
http://www2.victoriassecret.com/commerce/application/prodDisplay/?namespace=productDisplay&origin=onlineProductDisplay.jsp&event=display&prnbr=MG-177688&cgnbr=OSSHUWORZZZ&rfnbr=733&page=1&cgname=OSSHUWORZZZ

Though really, I wouldn't really wear the last pair much. They're just cute.

Oh yeah, so I had my test this morning. It wasn't one of those tests where you look at it and the questions read like some alien language (erm, like my last research methods test), so that was a bonus. Some of it I didn't know, but most of the multiple choice wasn't bad. I messed up one part of the essay... plus, my answer was two pages of the blue book, so it was really short and I'm sure I'll get marked off for it. But hey. I didn't die.

There's always a bright side to everything. Even if it is only "i didn't die."

So now I have a paper to do for tomorrow... a short 2 page synopsis on a chapter in the stem cell research book. And it's for the class that is taught by the professor who likes my writing. So. I have that in my favor.

I just looked outside and it's snowing again!! Yay!!!!! I hope it sticks. I only say this because I don't have a car and can't drive anywhere. I do hope that my roommate can make it safely home tonight and get back tomorrow in time for the band party. But anyways... yay snow! I think it'll stick because it was freaking COLD out today.

Oh yes, there is a band party tomorrow night (they're called Highlanders. I have no clue why, but okay). After this evil week of studying humanist personality theorists, I really could use some fun in the form of dancing and alcohol. And maybe some selective flirting...

Yes, selective. Don't want to give people wrong ideas. Apparently, I do that sometimes.

Well, the OC is on now. Oh! And ER is on later. And in between, I'll write that synopsis.

buddhist?

Religion
created with QuizFarm.com

Very interesting. I apparently match with Buddhism 65%. Jewish with 55%, Cult with 50% (uh... right), anarchist with 45%, Christian 35%, and Catholic 20%.

Pretty funny, considering the only religion I ever had as a kid was Christian. And I'm at a Catholic, Jesuit university now.

I would write more, but I've got a test in theories of personality tomorrow morning and I've got about 200 pages worth of material to know.

[edited this post because the table was messing up the html on my layout]