weekend happenings and other stuff

This was one of those weekends that you anticipate, but once it's over, all you can say is "oh." I had a lot of fun, but I'm not so sure that I carried much out of it. I guess it wasn't exactly up to my expectations.

Oh, I did carry some supreme embarrassment. Got really drunk last night before the band party (that's right, before), and got sick. Not a lot of people saw, but still. After getting sick though, I felt better, and was able to make it to the party, where there was dancing. I didn't drink any more though. Because that would have been just plain stupid. The "pre-party" was fun though. Some people came over and we ate and talked and drank and half watched Gilmore Girls on dvd (well, not really, because we were talking). I got sick almost as soon as we left the apartment and walked outside. Lovely.

And today was the freshman picnic. There weren't a whole lot of freshmen there, but the rest of us had fun. Volleyball, eating, frisbee (which I sucked at), talking. Good times.

Oh, and somewhere along the way, I acquired the Garden State soundtrack. It is fantastic. Nance gave me a link to a site (which was in french) where there were clips from the movie (the clips were not in french). I watched all of them. It looks so good, and everyone who has seen it really liked it, so now of course I really want to go see it. We might make it a flute section outing. I just need to see it.

And I feel like I just said "it" a lot. Random observation.

There's one song on the soundtrack that really sticks out on that soundtrack for me. "Fair" by Remy Zero. I just adore it. It's kind of sad, but also hopeful.

Okay, so I like this guy. And I'm so stupid about it. I've liked this guy for a little while, and I just recently told a few people about it (well, people who know him. For example, Tory's known for a while, of course, but she doesn't know him). It's like I didn't really want to admit it to myself. That I could like a guy after the whole Dave thing. Not because I still like Dave or have hopes of seeing him ever again, but because it just completely crushed me. I was dumb about that too. You would think that I would have learned my lesson... but apparently not. I know if I don't speak up soon, I'll end up kicking myself, but I don't know. It's hard. Sometimes when I'm around him, I'm so painfully shy.

Well. I suppose one day soon, I'll just have to make myself be bold and say something. I've done it before. Just not in a while. I haven't gone out on a date in a couple of years. That was by choice, but still. I think I'm getting into a comfortable rut, where I don't have myself getting overly anxious by dating a guy or even admitting that i like a guy, which is fine because I'm perfectly okay with being without a boyfriend. However, it's about time to leave this rut, but it's a scary world out there.

I just need to take a deep breath and take that first step. Yeah.